Oh no!! another wet dream ?

I rarely have dreams! And on the rare occasions that I have dreamt, I barely remember the contents of my dream! I guess I am not prone to hypnopompic and hypnagogic hallucinations! If I were the Martin Luther King of the 1960’s, my speech would be titled ”I don’t have a dream.” And it would go like this ” I don’t have a dream that one day a man shall be judged by the content of his character rather than by the color of his skin. I don’t have a dream I don’t dream I can’t remember my dreams.”

But of late that seems to be changing! I have had two dreams that I remember and are ready to talk about! The first dream was after I watched ”The Black Panther” movie! Not long after that, I dreamt that I was a superhero with my eponym as ”Shit-hole Pussy” abbreviated as ’SP’, for my Mfantsipim boys no pun intended!! I was decked in a domestic cat costume and anytime I kicked the asses of my villains, I gave out a characteristic purr, meow meow! I was miffed! Of all the big cats in the world, I could not marshal forces in my dream to be like lion or tiger but a mere domestic cat!!!

Pirate-Cat-Costume3

My Catman Super hero

The second dream occurred after I had watched a white lady berate two cops for rightly stopping her kids who were driving with expired license plates! I was surprised, as a black person that, people could talk to cops in such disrespectful manner and live to talk about it unscathed!

Not long after that, I dreamt about a similar encounter with two cops and here is how it unfolded! I was driving on the highway to work and suddenly I realized that traffic was slowly backing up on a part of interstate 41 that usually was free flowing with vehicular traffic! What the hell was going on, I soon realized that there was a cop up in front driving at exactly the speed limit and all the vehicles were afraid to pass him! I put my car in cruise control and increase my speed to just like 8 mph above the legal speed limit! I then weaved through the traffic till I passed the cop! Not long after I passed him, I was stopped and here is how the conversation went!

Officer

Cop making a traffic cop

  • Cop: Sir do you know why I stopped you?
  • Me: Not sure may be driving whilst black!
  • Cop: Listen here don’t be smart with me here okay!
  • Me: Not at all
  • Cop: Where do you come from?
  • Me: Green Bay!
  • Cop: I mean originally
  • Me: Well if you know your history we all originally don’t come from here! But if you insist originally from Ghana!

By this time the cop was seething with adrenaline.

  • Cop: Guyana in South America?
  • Me: Sir at least if you ate gonna ask me where I am from you should at least know some geography! Ghana in West Africa

He was boiling inside at this time he started calling for back up! When the back up came he was told I was being disrespectful

  • Second cop: If you could have did what the officer had told you, you could have drove off by now!
  • Me: Officer I would appreciate it if we could communicate in the Queens English!

Just when they were about to drag me out off my car and give me a sound beating, my  hospital pager went off!

  • Me: Excuse me officers I need to go and save some lives!

They stood paralyzed with mouths wide open! As I drove off with glee dancing to the tunes of Maxi Priest song ”some guys have all the luck” I felt a sudden urge to pee! I exited the Highway to Starbucks Cafe and asked to use their bathroom. This time they did not ask me for purchase prior to usage. As I whipped out my tool and started peeing, I felt some warmth around my testes (fellow Americans not the plural for test), and then I realized I had broken the first cardinal rule of dreaming!

Never ever pee in your dreams

by Roy Kim Jung Un Scaramucci.

Photo Credit

Feature Photo
Dark skinned beauty; courtesy of https://www.nubianplanet.com
Cat costume photo – https://www.meowingtons.com
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